12.)

My coming out story is kind of sad with an all right ending. I count coming out as when my parents found out, which was when I was 17. I had been dating this girl for a year, who was 15 at the time and she decided to run away from home because her home life was not that well.

My family adored her, they thought she was my best friend. We brought her to my house but realized that would be the first place that her parents would look, so we took her to another friend’s house to hide her because her parents didn’t know them at all.

My Mom Confronts Me

I stayed with them until around 10pm when my mom called me and said I had to get home. When I got there my mom just stared at me and said “What is this about you and her being together?” I just looked at her and said, “Yes, we are together,” and shrugged. She ignored me from that point on.

About three days later my girlfriend called me to tell me that her aunt bought her a plane ticket to come stay with her. She came to say goodbye and we stayed outside because I didn’t think my mom would let her in the house. My dad came out to say goodbye and my brother came to say goodbye, but my mom only opened the door to stare at us for a minute and then shut it again.

My girlfriend started to cry at that point. Right before she was about to leave my mom came outside very calmly and gave her a hug and said, “If you ever need anything then call,” and walked back inside. After all the crying was done and she finally left to catch her plane, I went inside.

I didn’t know How My Mom Would React

My mom was again staring at me. I leaned against the wall and just stared back because I didn’t know what she wanted. Finally she spoke. “I may not agree with everything you do with your life but you are my daughter and I will always love you.”

I started crying. I couldn’t believe that she would accept me. I was always afraid that she’d kick me out and yet here she was telling me that I could be me.

We don’t ever talk about it. And it makes me sad that I can’t tell her about this new girlfriend, but it’s ok because she still loves me, and that’s all that matters.

11.)

I always knew I was different. I told my Mom when I was 10 that I was gay, her mouth fell open and I told her it was a joke. She never wanted me to be a lesbian and I tried to respect her wishes.

At 18 I was dating a guy that liked guys. We were both “bisexual”. I thought we were so cool. I wanted him to take my virginity. There we were lying naked in his parents front room listening to kd lang. I never felt so comforted before. We proceeded to have a fight and I put on my clothes and left his house. Six Months later I came out as a lesbian.

I was friends with an older woman and I had a mad crush on her and every other chubby woman I knew. I went to school with her son, and I used to come over on the weekends to spend time with her. I professed a crush on another girl that used to come over there too and she rejected my advances. We loved each other but in a strange and distant way. The older woman didn’t exactly comfort me when the other girl rejected me. She berated me and asked me what I was hiding from. After stuttering and stammering I said, “I am a lesbian.” And I cried and cried.

I cried and cried

I cried so much that I had my best friend at the time pick me up at her house, I couldn’t walk. My deepest, darkest secret was exposed. While William was driving me home, I told him my new found realization and he wasn’t surprised. No one was. I was breaking down and laughing in his car and I was crying so hard that he held my hand with one hand and steered the car with the other.

At the time I came out, we were studying the Holocaust in Social Studies class and I wore a pink triangle everywhere I went. That history resonated deep in my soul.

I cried for three weeks straight after I came out. I was in mourning because I desperately wanted to have children. But I did find a way to do that. (I have two daughters now.)

My Mother wasn’t impressed when I told her I was a lesbian, she said the only reason why I was a lesbian was because I am fat and I couldn’t get a man. I wanted to roll my eyes because it wasn’t unusual for her to say those types of things to me. I decided right then to always be proud of myself and to find myself a beautiful wife. And I did.

10.)

Coming Out to Mom in a Letter

I decided to write her a letter. I expressed my sexuality, my feelings, and even told her about my girlfriend. I stuck it in with the morning paper in her box, before she awoke. I knew she always read the paper in the mornings.

I went to her house later that day, like I always do, and she acted like nothing happened. I was thinking, “Okay, maybe she lost the letter or hasn’t read it yet.” But later, she said, “I got your letter, and it makes no difference to me. I’m just glad you love me enough to tell me. Thank you for it.” and that was that.

She even asked about my girlfriend, and jokingly asked if being with a woman was better, like she’d heard it was. I was a bit shocked, but I laughed and told her the truth. Maybe she’ll experiment herself!

I was literally petrified of telling her, but I’m so glad I did. She’s the only person that really matters to me, and now that I know she accepts it, I can tell anyone and everyone and be totally proud of it.

9.) I didn’t even have to say it

So at the time I had a boyfriend. His mother recently found out that he was gay and was furious. Some how, she gained access to my phone number and kept calling me saying she wanted to speak with me mother. One day the phone bill comes in and my mom sees that I’ve been talking on the phone a lot to a specific number (my boyfriends at the time didn’t have a cell phone so I’d call his house). My mom called the house and guess who picked up ? His mom. She told my mom everything. So when I got home, my mother along with my father spoke to me about the whole situation and although I cried a little, it wasn’t that bad. Throughout all my life, when it comes to family members, I never had to go up and tell them. There is always someone to spill the beans first

8.) coming out

my coming out was actually way easier than i could have ever imagined.

one day when i was 14, my mom and i were sitting on the couch, both on our laptops. i’d known i was queer for over a year then, but i didn’t really know how to go about telling her. i knew she’d had gay friends, but i’d also heard horror stories about parents saying “it’s okay for them, but not for my son/daughter!” by this time though, i was at boarding school, which another relative was paying for, so i didn’t have to really worry about being kicked out or cut off financially (always important factors!).

finally, i built up all the courage i had, and said “mom, you know that girl i’ve been talking about? jenn? i’m in love with her.” she was quiet for probably 1.2 seconds - though it felt like half an hour - and she just said “how long have you known?”

” a few months…” i practically whispered, waiting for the explosion of disgust, confusion, or maybe even rage.

“why didn’t you tell me sooner!?” was the only explosion i got. and while she didn’t have a right to have that one either - some people don’t come out til their 40’s or even at all! - it was much better than i had expected.

i don’t tell you this story so you’ll feel bad if your coming out didn’t/doesn’t go this well, or to make your hopes go up too high. but the point is, it’s not always as bad as you expect it to be. weigh your options (finances, shelter, and safety if it turns for the worse), and do whats right for you =]

7.)

When I was a kid, I was short, skinny, and meek.  I got teased all the time.  It got so bad that I hid at school one day, behind a couch in our reading area.  The hole was very tiny and dark, but I was slight, even for a 4th grader, and fit in real tight.  No one could find me, and after the whole day had gone by, I knew that no one even wanted to.

I didn’t know what a fag was, but everyone else seemed to think I was one.

By sixth grade I had no friends.  I didn’t even try to make any; why bother?  I played by myself at home, in the back yard, using old junk as if it were objects in a fantastic world where I was important, empowered, and needed.

My parents sent me to Catholic school for grades 7 and 8.  Even though I had been in an excelerated, “gifted” student program from grades 4-6, my grades at La Purisima Catholic in Lompoc, were average or less.  I had a strong voice and sang in the childrens choir.  That was who I was for two years. That, and Fag, and Dumbo.  Dumbo upset me most because I knew that they meant my ears.

In High School I took drama because it kept me away from all the junk that had lost the fantasy of years before.  I was doing better in school.  The Ornamental Horticulture teacher didn’t mind having a Fag with Big Ears on her FFA OH team; I had a fast memory and we placed in our first contest with my help.

Still, I had no friends.  I went home to a family that had given up on me, and saw me as a Fag too.

They all died soon after by a drunk driver.  He had a broken nose and went to my high school.  I remember that he used to call me fag, too.

Then, when I was 22, I looked into the mirror and called myself a fag.  Now I have friends, a place, and people to care about. Oh, and wonderful ears.

Shawn

6.)

- Just recovering from a depression that I wrongly thought was the stress of the end of the Ph.D. instead of a battle with an identity I didn’t want (yet) to acknowledge, I had a discussion with my mother about the “meaning of life”. When, in the course of the conversation, I told my mother I was gay she replied “So what?”. She had done her coming out too since (thanksEric Marcus !).

My left brother I came out one year latter didn’t bother about that, and we had an exharating Christmas time together. I must say that a death and a suicide in my family, as well as REAL christian roots probably helped a lot accepting difference…

- More recently I sent a letter to an italian friend I met in the US and who considered me as a “Casanova”, and he replied “No problem, I just want you to be  happy. I’ll see you in Paris”. He is now a true friend.

Hubert.

5.)

When I was teen-aged, I was attracted to other guys.  When I went away to college, I was ashamed of my attraction and strove dilligently to be attracted to women; I really wanted a relationship and wanted to be loved and to love another person in “that special way.”  I dated women, but was sexually attracted to men.  When I was 20, I fell in love with a woman and at age 21, we got married.  I hoped my attraction to men would just sort of drift away or stop completely.  I struggled for 14 years in this marriage and had two children.  I tried and tried and tried to be happy in my marriage, but the underlying fact was that I was gay.  Period.  I really tried to choose to be straight, but it just wouldn’t work. Finally, after years of struggling and a lot of counseling and therapy, we decided it was best to end the marriage.  So, from personal experience, I can honestly say that one does not CHOOSE one’s sexual orientation.  It is not a choice.  It just is.  No one, I don’t care how vehement they are, can ever convince me that it is a choice to go through the hell that I did.  I wouldn’t choose to be gay, if it were a choice. I’d much rather live the simple life and not have to defent myself against boneheads and bigots.  I couldn’t and I suggest that no one really can choose their sexual orientation.  I’m happy to say now that my ex-wife continues to be a good friend and is supportive of my relationship with another man; my children love me (in fact, my 16 year old son LIVES with my partner and me); my family of origin hasn’t rejected me; and I have a strong spiritual life (non-christian).  The only people that I have problems with are those who don’t even try to understand what I’ve been through and look at the world through their narrow view that says “god” hates me and that justifies their bigotry and ignorance.

Repeat after me:  “It’s not a choice to be gay or straight.  It just is.”

Bob

4.)The day I came out…

… to my mother turned out to be the most terrifying and anti-climatic day of my life. Even though her and I are extremely close, I’d played the dramatic scenario of eternal rejection over and over in my head. I just knew once I told her, it was going to be the last conversation her and I would ever have. But it was important for me to share that new and exciting part of my life. I decided the night before Thanksgiving would be the day. I was freshly 18 and figured she wouldn’t dare cause a scene on the eve of a large family gathering. In my head it was the biggest gamble I would ever take.

So, while baking a cake (go figure) I concocted this brilliant plan of bringing up very emotional family memories in an effort to soften the blow. I brought up things that made us both cry regularly, usually during an episode of Matlock and the weekly pedicure I gave her. I saw her eyes start to water. Now was my chance. I put the mixing bowl down, washed the mud mask off my face and led into the announcement.

“Mom, if I tell you something will you promise not to reject me?”

“Sure…” she muttered while clicking the remote.

“Are you sure you won’t throw me on the street and stop loving me?”

“Uh huh…” She managed to utter while fanning her freshly painted nails.

After a grueling 10 minutes of her obvious lack of interest and my continual tears, I stated my purpose:

“Mom… I’m gay!”

There was silence. My stomach dropped and my heart felt a thousand pounds. She waited until Matlock made his closing argument and looked at me emotionless and said, “Honey, I’ve known that for years! Now come give your mom a kiss and hand me that nail file over there.” Little did I know that her best friend was a lesbian and blew my cover a long time ago. My drama filled announcement was little more than a confirmation of fact.

3.)My coming out story

My name is Abegail and i’m a 21 year old pansexual. I never had the whole ritual of having to get the guts to get off my ass and tell my parents that i’m a homosexual. It was more like a nonchalant informative kind of thing. I was eating with my dad and he said something about “when you get older, you’re going to get married and have a husband…” and i interrupted him saying “or i’ll have a wife.” He looked at me hella confused and we had our “talk.” I was around 13-14 when this happened i think. This is around the time i was dating a transgendered FTM so of course he was alot more confused than other parents but i didn’t want to make it any more difficult than it had to be so i just said “he” was a real born guy even though “he” looked like a “she” because he didn’t start his transformation yet.  Anyways, he went with the “how come you can’t be normal” route and i took it all in until he was finished. After everything he threw at me, i explained, “I am your only daughter and i’m your oldest. I’ve lived my life without having my parents together and i have to be thrown back and forth on holidays and weekends. I’ve had to endure heartache and pain because of what you and my mom have put me through so the least you can do is support me and my happiness since you’ve denied me my right since i was 1 year old of having a solid family. Yeah i’m young and you may think i’m stupid but it’s not like you weren’t in the same boat when you were my age. If this is a phase let me figure it out for myself and if this isn’t and i do decide to share my love, then just let me. I will still be your only daughter and despite all the shit you put me through i stuck by you because i love you. You are my only dad and despite all the shit i have and will put you through, i want you to stick by my side as well.” We came to an agreement and it’s been good ever since. He brings it up once in a while but he really doesn’t say much bc he likes my girlfriend now. We both lived with him a few months ago and my dad would cook her favorite things and stuff like that…awww it was cute. Anyways, that was my coming out story to my dad. My coming out story to my mom was a lot shorter. I basically told her that i had a girlfriend (the one i’m with now- 2.7 years strong) and she was like “why would you do that? aren’t you scared? blah blah?” I brought my girlfriend around a couple times and it wasn’t awkward at all but i knew my mom wanted to ask questions. Later on she grew to really be attached to my girlfriend and they’re pretty close now. Especially after my girlfriend and i moved in with her to help her out. Later on i find out that my mom and grandma didn’t like my girlfriend because they thought she was corrupting me but then they realized that i was the dominant one in the relationship so they kinda felt bad for her and were sorry. LOL Now everything is all good, no problems. My girlfriend and I live wit my moms and our gay friends come over all the time. My brother loves them, My grandma loves them, My mom gets drunk with them hahaha. I guess my coming out story had a happy ending ;)